No fuss no muss, snacks out, glasses poured, and pleasantries skipped. Let’s get it poppin’ ladies, we all know time is money.
The moms group is a crash collision of honesty, bravery, and agency that is unrivaled by any other support group. It is, hands down, the most magical place on earth. Sorry Disney!
It has been said that “the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world”, therefore, the moms meeting, might be likened to the UN Summit
Let me explain.
In high school, most of us had giant thoughts, dreams, and questions. In early adulthood, most of the ideas associated with those thoughts, began to sort themselves out. Opinions were formed and a fence of confidence was built around them.
In college, we had those “late night” talks, which filled us with pride and self-ascribed depth. But really, we were just young adults trying to test out our opinions in eloquent ways. We had the intentions of being heard but, with no true desire to hear others. We were too busy feeling the pressure to achieve and change the world.
Unfortunately, with the onset of marriage and children and settling into “real jobs”, these conversations often cease to borderline extinction. The moment you birth out that firs butter ball of joy, you realize that the word “pressure” has a whole different meaning.
Not just the stress from the expectations placed on you by yourself and by others
but, the literal physical pressure of birthing a life into this world.
All of a sudden, the pressure to achieve, succeed, and change the world, takes a back seat.
You take a back seat.
It literally feels like childbirth zaps brain cells. The constant time spent isolated at home with baby and toddlers makes those choice words spoken in college, and the big dreams we had in high school, seem impossible.
We can’t even focus on an adult conversation over the sound of Thomas The Trains sing-a- long. We crave silent thought so deeply , that we can’t even stand the sound of the dishwasher. Ok, maybe that’s just me.
But, I have found a way to recovery ladies.
You may want to roll your eyes at this theory but, I believe that identity can be re ignited and fostered in the midst of a moms group. This can be a bible study, a women’s book club, maybe a Monday night volleyball league, or the like.
Hold up! this is not to be confused with the mommy and me play group, or bring your baby to burpee class. As precious as they are, and as much as we love our kids, they can quickly become a point of distraction, a place of isolation, and an opportunity to hide.
Those littles of ours, are the last line of defense before surrendering to the reality of who you have, or have not become.
The “Moms Only” group or “childcare provided” group, is different. Behind those fortress doors, you can go from a closeted over thinker, to a woman who speaks whole clear thoughts and is heard. We find a safe place to vent, we find encouragement to keep going, and most of all, we connect.
We connect hearts and minds, but we also specifically find new outlets, ideas, frameworks, and solutions
that we had never been able to nail down alone.
I personally have attended 6 distinctly different groupings last month. Some have been regular commitments, and some are new. Don’t ask me how the stars aligned for this, but let me tell you;
It has been a Godsend. The things I have learned, discovered about myself, and been encouraged to do are powerful and practical. I was encouraged to press publish on my first blog post, for instance.
I learned a new way to budget my finances, realized I need quick validation in decision-making, I have been able to encourage another mom who will be adopting a 3-year-old via foster care, I was able to give a friend a meaningful gift, got help to start another bible study for local friends, found a partner to attend an out-of-state writers conference with.
I met a fellow blogger who was inspired by me to write about new bloggers and their fear of posting. I’ve been to a new spin class with friends, been to a volleyball game with friends, I signed up for a paint night, and helped a friend look into starting a mastering motherhood at our church.
I have met a graphic designer I might consult with, learned how to knit a cute scarf with buttons, reconnected with an old friend, and found out that her husband would be working with my husband on a youth advisory board at DCF.
The possibilities of connecting with your peers, at a stage of life where our previous pretenses have been stripped down to raw humility are limitless. It is an opportunity one must capitalize on.
These mom groups are like diamonds in the rough. Treasure to be found. Many of you will say, “I don’t have time”, or “that’s not my thing”, but trust me. It is your thing. Don’t judge it, find one, because you might just find some of yourself there. That is, If you are humble enough to try it.
Some Great Groups to join:
Mastering Motherhood Thursday mornings at 9:30am at Fellowship Church in Middletown, CT https://www.masteringmotherhood.com/
Paint night with
Moms on a Mission at Calvary life Church in Cheshire, CT https://www.facebook.com/CalvaryLifeFWC/photos/a.172731172779669.57974.114173095302144/1796913523694751/?type=3
Some great books to check out or start a group with:
Missional Motherhood by Gloria Furman https://www.amazon.com/Missional-Motherhood-Everyday-Ministry-Grand/dp/1433552272
Without Rival by Lisa Bevere http://withoutrival.com/
Girls with swords by Lisa Bevere https://store.messengerinternational.org/collections/books
Present over perfect by Shauna Niequist
Arrows & Archers 